First printing of
My Sister, My Self


Tender, touching, funny, painful and poetic...Vikki Stark's study of sibling relationships will take you to new depths of understanding of yourself, your sister, and the myriad ways you shaped each others' lives. Best of all, you'll find a wealth of workable suggestions for getting past old, hurtful, self-defeating patterns to a healthier, happier relationship with the one woman who shares your genes and your history.

Adele Faber, Co-Author of Siblings Without Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too



A warm and practical discussion of the sisterly relationship that, perhaps because it is between woman and woman, has never been given the attention it deserves. A scrupulous work that will be useful to a great many women.

Nuala O’Faolain, Author of Are You Somebody?





About the Book

My Sister, My Self


My Sister, My Self is based on a study I conducted in which I interviewed and received email questionnaires from 400 women, teens and girls worldwide. The youngest was four years old. Her memorable quote was, “I play with my sisters and then I hit them. And then I hug them!” The oldest were 95-year-old identical twins! The interviews were conducted by and large in the homes of the study participants.

I met with many women who had only one sister and also with those who had two, or three, or many more. I visited the five different homes of a set of five sisters; I interviewed six sisters on a native reserve; I received e-mail questionnaires from all seven sisters from a Californian family; I interviewed three generations of sisters from the same family. With so many participants, I heard dozens of intriguing stories and learned about so many different realities. I felt privileged that all those women and girls let me into their lives and entrusted their sister stories to me.

My Sister, My Self grew out of these interviews. I analyzed the answers to my questions and was flabbergasted to realize the extent to which a woman’s identity was imprinted by her role in the family regardless of the quality of the sister relationship. Some women adored their sisters and described a closeness I could only dream of. Others told stories of struggle, disappointment and pain. For these women, the book offers advice and solace – helping them figure out how to improve those difficult connections or, at least, come to terms with them.

My Sister, My Self has something for every woman who has a sister. I know it will speak to you, too.






My Sister, My Self makes a meaningful gift for your mother or sister's birthday, for Mother's Day, or for other occasions. A great idea is for your sister and you to both read the book, underlining and marking in the margins parts that speak to you. Then create a special time by getting together and sharing your impressions and the memories the book evokes.

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My Sister, My Self, click here!


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